This article is dedicated to everyone who lives in Ibadan, Nigeria. To the Micra Drivers and especially to those who has had a crazy taste of Micra Drama.
The moment you pay your fare and hear ‘mo ni ko wole pelu change e’, (I told you to board with your change — small naira notes) just know the battle of insults is about to start…
Welcome to Ibadan! The city full of the four legged cream and brown Nissan wheels, popularly called Micra. This episode of NAIJA GOOD is not about the wheels but about the men behind the wheel, Micra Drivers.
Here is a little context for non-Ibadan people.
Nissan Micra is a small car used as a means of transportation in the vibrant city of Ibadan. Basically, the most popular. Every nook and cranny of the city is filled with them. Even if you try, you can’t avoid them. They’re that popular.
But one thing that makes them unique? The drivers!
Before I spill the tea about Micra drivers, let me state that no one can really say how they became very popular in the city. Some say it became popular because of its size. Others say it is because it is durable and consumes little fuel.
But who cares?
The fact remains that these small sized cars have woven themselves deeply into the identity of the city such that the city of Ibadan cannot be imagined without the hustle and bustle of the Micra cars. These cars have become one of its identifiable traits after the city’s famous amala and brown roofs. I do not think there is a single Ibadan resident that does not know what MICRA is or had a fair share or Micra Drivers Drama.
The moment I sight the colours of these cars, I know I’m home. In fact, it feels weird going out early in the morning and not seeing one Micra in sight. Just one.
Micra drivers are all shades of rude, impatient, reckless and nice. Your actions and subtle inactions determines the shade you’d get.
If you offend them, be ready to get cussed at. Your ancestors and your generation to come would not be spared from their sharp tongues and metaphoric insults.
Micra Drivers are the no-nonsense transport workers of Ibadan city. I think the insult is a defensive mechanism they picked up over the years after witnessing the brutality of the street.
You will always hear them scream ‘mi o ni change ó’ (I don’t have small denominations, so board only if you have change) and the moment you pay your fare and hear ‘mo ni ko wole pelu change e’, (I told you to board with your change — small naira notes) just know the battle of insults is about to start.
If you are the easygoing type, you’d ask yourself a thousand and one times, what have I done with myself? And if you are rugged like they’re, you’d cuss them back, if not you risk not only being insulted but losing your change as well.
Nothing beats a good Micra drama. It’s always the highlight of my evenings on days I’m exhausted from running errands. These people would leave you stranded in the cars and fight in the middle of road.
I would never forget the night a Micra driver left us in the car to fight a pedestrian even though he was at fault. HIs colleagues put off their car engines to fight with him and all attempt at resolution fell on deaf ears. We were begging him to let us continue the journey but he told us to alight and find our way.
He literally told us the ride has ended. As how na? Or another morning, the driver was cranky as if he woke up on the wrong side of the bed and had a fight with wiffy before leaving the house. He wouldn’t park at a particular stop, I was going to break his door and even yelled at an old woman for being slow.
If you are visiting Ibadan for the first time, be ready for a wild ride, or not. These drivers would give you a live demo of Fast and Furious. And you can’t complain. Otherwise you’d hear a sarcastic statement like ‘te break legbe e’ i.e step on the break at your end.
90% of them disobey the traffic rules. One almost had us killed at a roundabout because he wouldn’t wait for the traffic light to turn green, despite appealing to him.
100% of them compete with heavy trucks. You’d hear them say, ‘ma gba é sonu, ku ro lona fun mi’ i.e I’d hit you if you don’t drive away. Esquise me Sir, you want to hit a trailer? I don’t know a spare life, please. They probably think they are Okada Riders who also think because of their slim vehicle shape they can squeeze into any type of road, the bravery to drive in between two heavy trailers. Your knight in dusty armour during a Go Slow.
But beyond the strong façade, Micra drivers are hustlers. And I think the reckless driving is always in a bid to make more money. But what happens to the lives lost in the process due to accidents? What about their families? What about children turned orphans? And spouses turned to widows? Dear Micra Drivers, Take a deep breath, take a step back, do not go into conflict all the time? Hold your tongue and not be a party to road rage, statistics states that 66% of traffic fatalities are attributed to aggressive driving with deadly impacts. Road rage has led to 218 murders and 12,610 injuries over a seven-year period in the US. Let’s not do that here. States like New Mexico, Arizona and Oklahoma have higher road rage range over the years. Dear Micra Drivers and Nigerian Transport Drivers, let’s not make it to the chart of road rage statistics.
Here’s one, you could be nice like Bus Conductors who always help passengers up with their luggages, or Okada Riders patronized continuously by market women to deliver their foodstuffs.
If you ever find yourself in the city of brown roofs, make sure you take a Micra ride even just once, just so you can say you have had the experience. Your adventure would be incomplete without it.
However, to avoid being cussed at anytime or you want to board a Micra in Ibadan and you don’t want a chaotic experience:
-Hold your change.
-Close the car door gently.
-Avoid engagement; maintain your steeze even when you are being cussed at to prevent a fight from breaking out, unless you wan stain your white.
-Plan your trips, allow extra time to reduce stress.
-Stay calm.
-The driver believes he can overtake the petrol tanker, so don’t stop praying.
-Above all, be respectful.
Bon voyage!
NAIJA GOOD.
Written by: Aggiestina_inked
Co-written by: Goodness Felix-Adebayo
_Brown, cream Vehicles…_
_Shaped like a tortoise, busy as a bee._
_The color that determines the weather of daily transportation_.
_You get it hot , when it is hot_ .
_You get it cold when the color gets cold_.
_Mobile movers …_
_Do they not all depict the state of their land?_
_Their vehicle is a symbol of their daily labor_.
_And their demeanor is a message of struggle._
_Daily they meet up with the sun rising ._
_The busy road is their niche_ .
_To Drive they must lest they be Driven down._
_It is a race against unemployment and stringent living_ .
_For some, they are the winning team_
_While some may permit…_
_The chasers determine their attitude ._
_And to you on the drive?_
_Should you chase the drivers who are being chased already?_
_And to you who drive?_
_Should you allow the to chasers catch up with you?_
Written by: theblessinggift_🖋️
This brings to memory my students days at the University of Ibadan. When you board a Micra cab, get ready to be entertained by endless old school Juju or Fuji music, or even radio stations, depending on whatever the driver likes. If you want to tell him to turn the volume down, you better do it politely.